“You know what they say: ‘A kitchen divided against itself… that dog won’t hunt.’” — Ben Napier, Home Town
Category Archives: Commonplace Book
“Secret code”
Lexicon. Björk discusses her notebook of lyrics. “This is the lyric to a song about my best mate, Jóga. But all the other pages? There’s absolutely no way I’ll open for you, whatever you offer me. Because that’s so private it’s scary. And I’ve got a beautiful little secret code which is called ‘Icelandic,’ so you guys will never find out what it says in this.”
“The New Cruelty”
Lexicon. Derived from this bit in Steve Martin’s 1991 movie, L.A. Story:
L’Idiot is the hot restaurant of the moment, and pronounced as if French (as one might expect from the apostrophe). The phrase is generally used when someone is being a dick.
“I see Congress has cut Medicaid spending.”
“Part of the New Cruelty?”
Interestingly, the New Cruelty also shows up with lightning speed in this deleted scene that featured John Lithgow:
“Of all the gin joints in all the world…”
Lexicon. From the movie Casablanca. Once, I would have thought this was such a widely seen film I wouldn’t need to explain, but as the years go by, even societal memory fades.
Like many quotes from this movie, somewhat mangled. It should be, “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world… she walks into mine.” The towns, alas, get dumped.
Usage: Something incredibly rare and unexpected happens.
“My god!”
”What?”
”That car that just cut us off, like an asshole?”
”Yeah?”
”It’s a Bugatti Veyron.”
(respectful pause) “Of all the gin joints, in all the world…”
What one fool can do…
Considering how many fools can calculate, it is surprising that it should be thought either a difficult or a tedious task for any other fool to learn how to master the same tricks.
Some calculus-tricks are quite easy. Some are enormously difficult. The fools who write the textbooks of advanced mathematics—and they are mostly clever fools—seldom take the trouble to show you how easy the easy calculations are. On the contrary, they seem to desire to impress you with their tremendous cleverness by going about it in the most difficult way.
Being myself a remarkably stupid fellow, I have had to unteach myself the difficulties, and now beg to present to my fellow fools the parts that are not hard. Master these thoroughly, and the rest will follow. What one fool can do, another can.
— Calculus Made Easy, Silvanus Thompson, 1914 (yes, still in print)
Asps
Borrowed from our friends David Levine and Kate Yule. It’s a line from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Indy: Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?
Sallah (peering into the tomb): Asps. Very dangerous. (pause) You go first.
Usage:
“That rhino snot pie on the menu looks interesting.”
”Asps.”
(Kate died in 2016. We miss her a lot.)
Another flaw…
“Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.”
— Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Hocus Pocus
The Segway of Our Time
This has been bouncing around for a while, but as far as I can tell Hugh MacLeod, the brilliant scribbler and crafter of bon mots said it first in May of 2022.
The Metaverse is The Segway of our time.
What else can you say of something even the developers refuse to use?
The Best Homer Simpson Quote
“Marge, if you’re going to get mad every time I do something stupid, then I guess I just have to stop doing stupid things!” (S04E09, “Mr. Plow”)
This also works from our perspective as well, to wit:
“If you’re going to get upset every time we call something you did stupid, then I guess you’ll just have to stop doing stupid things!”
The differences of translation
From the Analects of Kǒng Fūzǐ (15:19), who is frequently Anglicized as Confucius:
Ames & Rosemont: The Master said, “Exemplary persons are distressed by their own lack of ability, not by the failure of others to acknowledge them.”
Lyall (Proj. Gutenberg): The Master said, His shortcomings trouble a gentleman; to be unknown does not trouble him.
Legge: The Master said, “The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. He is not distressed by men’s not knowing him.”
A. Charles Muller: The Master said: “The noble man suffers from his own lack of ability, not from lack of recognition.”
So the next time you’re thinking you don’t get enough comments…