“It was all perfectly fine until you came along!”

As usual, a mild misquote on my part.

This comes from an episode of the Goon Show, “The Histories of Pliny the Elder”. Specifically, a slow-building gag about rowing as slaves on board a Roman galley:

*^*^*

Orchestra, Grams: Seagoing music; boat-bound voices in background; ship sounds
Greenslade: And so, some months later, a Roman slave galley drew nigh to Ostia.
Slave Driver: In, out… in, out…
Eccles: Make up your mind…
Bluebottle: Have you ever rowed a gallery before, Ecclus?
Eccles: Is that what we’re doing?
Bluebottle: Yes.
Eccles: No, I’ve never done this before.
Slave Driver: Faster, you dogs!
Bluebottle: He wants us dogs to go faster.
Slave Driver: Silence, you scum!
Eccles: He wants us scum to go silent…
Slave Driver: Or do you want a kiss of the lash?
Bluebottle: No, thanks, I just had some cocoa.
Eccles: Oh, look, they’re bringing a new slave from the reserve.
Bluebottle: Goody!
Seagoon: Let me go, you devil, how dare you? Take your hands off me! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. How dare you chain me to this oar? I shall write to the Times about this! In print!
Flowerdew: Shut up, you! It was perfectly quiet until you came along! You’re not the only man chained to the oars, you know…

— “The Histories of Pliny the Elder,” The Goon Show, Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens

*^*^*

“I shall write to the Times about this!” also tends to be used as lexicon from this source.