Waldrop, Alternate Titles

“Friends who know me get real tired of hearing me talk about the stories I’m going to write. And what they hear me call them are usually not the titles you know them by.”

“Like, “The Ugly Chickens” was referred to as “the dodo story.” “Flying Saucer Rock and Roll” was variously called “the doo-wop story” or “the piss-drinking story.” “I’m going to write a doo-wop story,” I would say. “Ike at the Mike,” on the other hand, was always called “Ike at the Mike.” “The alternate-Africa story” meant “The Lions Are Asleep This Night.””

“In my imagination, “What Makes Heironymous Run?” was always “the painter story,” and that’s what it says on the working title of the file folder with the research in it. (The research consisted mostly of looking at about 2000 Renaissance paintings until my eyeballs melted like lumps of Crisco in a skillet.)”

Howard Walrop
Introduction to “What Makes Heironymous Run?”
All About Strange Monsters of the Recent Past


Lexicon, to a degree. “You know… The Africa story.”

NB: Yes, I know Bosch spelled his name Hieronymous. But in Strange Monsters, Waldrop spelled it Heironymous. Vast, multitudes, etc.

Vassar Miller, “Modesty”

Sweating a little, like a dewy apple,
As round and rosy, always a shade disheveled,
Of whom one thinks, “There goes somebody pleasant,
Not beautiful, of course, but with an air
Like a small tune half-forgotten.”
                                                   A little
Lovelier than beauty, your face revealed
Or hid the sun for me — though now no face 
Does that — only the opening or closing 
Of my own eyes — still if I were to see you
Passing alone the street, I would come stand
Before you, arms hung limply at my sides
To say, “I love you, but it doesn’t matter.”

Vassar Miller

Austen, Company

“My idea of good company, Mr Elliot, is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.”

“You are mistaken,” said he gently, “that is not good company; that is the best. Good company requires only birth, education, and manners, and with regard to education is not very nice. Birth and good manners are essential; but a little learning is by no means a dangerous thing in good company; on the contrary, it will do very well.”

Jane Austen, Persuasion

Dunitz’ Disclaimer

My second favorite disclaimer in a book, from Jay Dunitz’ collection of photographs Pacific Light:

“DISCLAIMER and WARNING:

The process utilized by the Artist in the creation of the Pacific Light series is extremely dangerous, and may be injurious or lethal to person and hazardous to property. Neither the Artist nor anyone associated with the publication and distribution of PACIFIC LIGHT shall be responsible or liable in any way for any injury, death, or other damage arising from the reader’s or public’s application of the described process and its related materials.”

*^*^*

Take that!Anarchist Cookbook