Facebook = “You Must Die”

Lexicon. This comes from a phonetic rendering of the word “Facebook” into Mandarin, and then translating the characters back into English.

 

Fēi sǐ bù kě

This is reminiscent of what Paul Linebarger (who also wrote science fiction as Cordwainer Smith) did during the Korean War:

While in Korea, Linebarger masterminded the surrender of thousands of Chinese troops who considered it shameful to give up their arms. He drafted leaflets explaining how the soldiers could surrender by shouting the Chinese words for ‘love,’ ‘duty,’ ‘humanity,’ and ‘virtue’–words that happened, when pronounced in that order, to sound like ‘I surrender’ in English. He considered this act to be the single most worthwhile thing he had done in his life.

Linebarger here is Paul Linebarger, the real name of Cordwainer Smith. The Chinese words mentioned are probably 爱责仁德, pronounced “ài zé rén dé,” a fair approximation of the English.

(Rooting around about him, I see Project Gutenberg has five works by Linebarger, one of which is a novella written under his Cordwainer Smith pseudonym, three of which are works about China, and the fifth is Psychological Warfare, the book that established the field.)

”The Hot Dog Is Enlightened “

Lexicon for Ulrika and myself. This originally comes from the FAQ for the Usenet newsgroup alt.buddha.short.fat.guy, which has a number of amusing bits. This is by far the one we quote, though. Here’s the whole section:

3-4. 

Hey, I heard a great Buddhist joke…

Yeah, we know. Let us tell it to you instead:

A zen student walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.”

But we have a better ending:

The vendor then proceeds to throw the student to the ground and shove a Hebrew National, all-beef, kosher hot dog with Bob’s Own Zesty Vegetarian Chili into the student’s left nostril while screaming, “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that one?!?!”

The hot dog is enlightened.

“It was all perfectly fine…”

“It was all perfectly fine until you came along!”

As usual, a mild misquote on my part.

This comes from an episode of the Goon Show, “The Histories of Pliny the Elder”. Specifically, a slow-building gag about rowing as slaves on board a Roman galley:

*^*^*

Orchestra, Grams: Seagoing music; boat-bound voices in background; ship sounds
Greenslade: And so, some months later, a Roman slave galley drew nigh to Ostia.
Slave Driver: In, out… in, out…
Eccles: Make up your mind…
Bluebottle: Have you ever rowed a gallery before, Ecclus?
Eccles: Is that what we’re doing?
Bluebottle: Yes.
Eccles: No, I’ve never done this before.
Slave Driver: Faster, you dogs!
Bluebottle: He wants us dogs to go faster.
Slave Driver: Silence, you scum!
Eccles: He wants us scum to go silent…
Slave Driver: Or do you want a kiss of the lash?
Bluebottle: No, thanks, I just had some cocoa.
Eccles: Oh, look, they’re bringing a new slave from the reserve.
Bluebottle: Goody!
Seagoon: Let me go, you devil, how dare you? Take your hands off me! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. How dare you chain me to this oar? I shall write to the Times about this! In print!
Flowerdew: Shut up, you! It was perfectly quiet until you came along! You’re not the only man chained to the oars, you know…

— “The Histories of Pliny the Elder,” The Goon Show, Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens

*^*^*

“I shall write to the Times about this!” also tends to be used as lexicon from this source.

Beige Volvos

Early in our relationship — so, late 1980s or so — we were driving around, and Ulrika mentioned beige Volvos. And I said, “Beige Volvos? Do they even make those?”

Whereupon we saw about five beige Volvos in the next fifteen miles. (This was on an LA freeway. That’s a short distance.)

“Beige Volvos” has become our shorthand for something that is ubiquitous, but invisible, until your attention is called to it. (I think there’s a different term for it, but this is ours.)

Venice is a space station

campo san barnaba space station 2015-10-20 10.21.20

Venice is a space station.

Hear me out. I’m not saying this just to accept the Mary McCarthy Challenge (“Nothing can be said here (including this statement) that has not been said before.”).

The picture above is of the Campo San Barnaba. You can just see a boat in green, with some carts in front of it.

Those carts are for trash. Venetians put out their trash every day in bags, and carts like those are pushed by hand to come along and pick them up. The mechanical arm that’s also just visible on the boat picks up the cart, the bottom falls out, and the trash goes into the hold of the boat.

Why?

Because everything in Venice comes in by boat, and everything has to go out by boat.

Yes, there’s the Piazzale Roma, where the buses come in, and its garage. But even then, to get to anyplace in the city itself, it has to be transferred to a boat.

The fire department (Vigili del Fuoco). Police. Ambulances. Groceries. Packages. Produce. Mass transit. All of these we saw as boats, at one point or another on our visit.

The boats orbit the city, like a hazy swarm of fireflies.

And if the boats are the shuttle pods of the city, the railway coming into Ferrovia Santa Lucia is the space elevator. Tying the city to the mainland by means of the causeway.

Others have commented on how Venice is without cars. That carlessness also plays into the space station nature of the town — one is forever going up and down stairs, down narrow passageways, seeing the boats just in the corner of one’s eye, or one rides on the vaporetti through the tunnels of the Grand Canal, the Giudecca Canal, or the northern edge by the Fondamenta Nove.

Another aspect that’s like a space station is how Venice is fully urbanized, edge to edge of the archipelago. Others have commented on this, but it makes the calli and canali seem all of a piece, all going to the skin where Venice meets the laguna.

Venice is of the Earth, but not on the Earth. Tethered, but floating. That it floats on water instead of in space is immaterial.

Venexia is a space station.