If Lucy Fell: HANS!

If Lucy Fell (1996) would be a mostly forgettable movie, except for the way some of the performances are plainly early versions of characters the actors would take up later. Lucy Ackerman, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, is the template from which her portrayal of Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City was drawn. Bwick Elias, flower-child idiot artist, is the ur-goon of every idiot Ben Stiller has played thereafter (notably Zoolander).

But there’s also this great scene, at 0:56. Lucy and Bwick are on a date, at Bwick’s apartment:

^^^

{Bwick joins Lucy on a couch, facing a painting we’ve seen him working on previously.}

BWICK: It’s symbolic. {He gestures at the painting, which stays unseen.} Life equals love which actually equals death. Life equals death.

{We cut to see the painting}

LUCY: It’s symbolic?

BWICK: Yeah.

LUCY: Symbolic death?

BWICK: Symbols of life, and death, and love. Life equals death which is in the middle. The sub-set is love. Which is really what the symbol is. Love. Life equals love equals death. It’s symbolic.

LUCY: Wait. {She gets up off the couch, and walks over to the painting} You have a woman with “LIFE” painted on her, uh… area, and she’s stabbing to death a man with a knife that says “LOVE” on it. And then in big, bold letters it says, “LIFE=LOVE=DEATH.”
{beat}
I don’t know that it’s very symbolic, Bwick. It’s kind of spelled out.

BWICK: So… It sucks. HANS!

LUCY: No. It doesn’t suck. It’s just that it’s not really… You know, it’s… It’s a literal painting.

{As she says this, an assistant who looks like Fabio — long blonde hair, overalls, no shirt — splashes some sort of fluid onto the painting.}

LUCY: It’s not symbolic. Which is… Fine.

BWICK: Hm-hm.

LUCY: It’s literal.

BWICK: Right. It just… Literally sucks.

{We see that Hans is patiently standing next to the painting, now with a blowtorch in his hand.}

LUCY: No.

BWICK: No, you’re right. You’re right. It just symbolically sucks. HANS!

{Hans turns on the blowtorch, and sets the painting ablaze.}

BWICK: It certainly isn’t very literal any more, is it?

{Lucy turns to the painting, as it continues to burn.}

LUCY: No, it’s… It’s symbolic.


Interestingly, this morphed when we got a Mercedes wagon. When trying to figure out some arcane feature of the car, I always imagined some engineer in Stuttgart, whom I had to think like to understand: HANS!

(Although sometimes I would credit his partner, Fritz.)

This method also is required for Microsoft products, both apps and operating systems. Step back, and think like a programmer in Redmond, not like a general computer user.

Solaris extra

I was rooting around, trying to find a clip with Jeremy Davies doing the right gesture in Solaris, because I wanted to do a Lexicon entry… and I stumbled upon this thing, which looks a DVD extra the way they used to be. Really useful for showing how a director and actors work together, and the contributions crafts people make.

The Shovel Breaks


(This was first written in August, 2010 for LiveJournal, and is now on Dreamwidth. But it really needs to be at this site.)

=================

So tonight we were watching Glee S1:D3 from Netflix, and I made an observation about how unlikely this was from choral standards — but, hey, what do I know? I only sang in grade school, high school, and college choirs for 12 years.

And Ulrika said, “I wonder when the shovel will break?”

We both realized there was a lexicon entry — because she got that phrase from me.

*^*^*

There I am living in Harwood Court, a dorm on the Pomona College campus.

I’m talking to Doug Shepherd, class of ’84, and some other folks, and I forget just how this came up, but he says, “Night of the Comet is so bad, the shovel breaks before the opening titles.”

“Oh?” I say. “What do you mean by that, Doug?”

“Well… All fiction is basically the art of throwing shit in your general direction. When you’re in the hands of a master — Tolstoy, say, or Hitchcock — they shovel the shit out of the way so quickly and so cleanly you don’t ever really notice it. Their shovels are made out of a mix of titanium and carbon fiber. But let’s face it — not everyone is that good. So, sooner or later, the shit is just so heavy their shovel breaks. Then the shit the story depends on starts piling up. I mean, it becomes a big pile. Then it starts stinking. You just can’t pay any attention to the story, because this steaming pile of shit is between the story and you, and it keeps growing, because their shovel has broken, and they just can’t get it out of the way.”

Night of the Comet starts with this text prologue on the screen. And this text is so lame, and so ridiculous… I’m telling you, the shovel breaks before the titles show up.”

“So it becomes something of a measure of quality, y’know? Just when does the shovel break in a story?”

*^*^*

This was the thing Doug told me I remember best, and have found most useful in the passage of time. And now I pass it on to you.

*^*^*

EDITED TO ADD: I was wrong. It’s not a crawl of text. Such is the world in which we live I was able to download the movie to look, check, and verify. It opens with John Carpenter-ish synth riffs, and deep, dark narration by Michael Hanks. It was tough to punctuate the following, because many times you’d think a sentence was over, and then it would go on.

Since before recorded time it had swung through the universe in an elliptical orbit so large that its very existence remained a secret of time and space. But now, in the last few years of the twentieth century, the visitor was returning.

Animated comet goes whooshing by.
Title: NIGHT OF THE COMET

The citizens of Earth would get an extra Christmas present this year, as their planet orbited through the tail of the comet. Scientists predicted a light show of stellar proportions – something not seen on Earth for 65 million years. Indeed, not since the time that the dinosaurs disappeared virtually overnight. 

There were a few who saw this as more than just a coincidence. But, most didn’t.

Shannon’s Deal & Logic

I admire John Sayles a lot. Sayles not only writes and directs movies, he edits them (which, as Tony Zhou points out, is a very small bunch of people who include Kurosawa). Sayles made Matewan, and Lone Star, among others.

And in 1990-91 he made his one foray into TV: Shannon’s Deal. For a show with only one season, it has a very extensive Quotes page on IMDb. With these elegant lines:

[Jack Shannon tries to talk Wilmer Slade out of taking his entire payment]

Jack Shannon: Then you should understand that a payment of this size is going to make Mr. Testa very upset. 

Wilmer Slade: Why do I sense an oncoming assault on logic?

“An oncoming assault on logic.” That’s beautiful. That might be lexicon of the future, that.

What a damned shame it’s not promising I’ll ever see it. Will any of the streaming platforms ever pick it up? And it hasn’t been made a DVD.

Bitch, you almost made me break character

Lexicon. Wild rephrasing of the original from the movie Chasing Amy:

“‘What’s a Nubian?’… Bitch, you almost made me laugh.”

Now, in my defense, this may have been a mashup with a story from my college days. Professor Leonard Pronko put on one of his periodic kabuki productions, this one titled Lancelot Bewitched. The lead, Kevin Costello, was teased by a number of my friends (Mark Vargas, Cathy Kerry, Topher Jaworski, others). Imagine the following delivered to Kevin in the exaggerated style of kabuki:

“Threeeee times! You broke character threeeeee times! And weeee saw you!”

So I may have taken the laughing and the breaking of character, and merged them.

It’s a theory, anyway.

“The New Cruelty”

Lexicon. Derived from this bit in Steve Martin’s 1991 movie, L.A. Story:

L’Idiot is the hot restaurant of the moment, and pronounced as if French (as one might expect from the apostrophe). The phrase is generally used when someone is being a dick.

“I see Congress has cut Medicaid spending.”
“Part of the New Cruelty?”

Interestingly, the New Cruelty also shows up with lightning speed in this deleted scene that featured John Lithgow:

Archive.org Movies

It’s somewhat amazing what one can find in the Archive.org site these days. Lately I’ve been stumbling on full movies. Here are some examples (subject to changes and additions):

Berlin: Symphony of a Great City, 1927
Man With a Movie Camera, 1929
Harvey, 1950
The Grand Budapest Hotel, 2014

Akira Kurosawa:
Seven Samurai (Shichinin no samurai), 1954
The Bad Sleep Well (Warui yatsu hodo yoku nemuru), 1960

(Tony Zhou, “The Bad Sleep Well (1960) – The Geometry of a Scene”)
(Tony Zhou, “Akira Kurosawa – Composing Movement”)
(Tony Zhou’s “Every Frame a Painting” account on YouTube)