Category Archives: Theatre

โ€Heโ€™s going to drive that poor girl crazy!โ€

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The year: 1991

The setting: Pasadena’s Hastings Ranch theaters

The film: Hamlet, directed by Zeffirelli, starring Gibson, Close, Bates, Scofield, Holm, Bonham Carter, etc.

So, we get to the nunnery scene. Ophelia’s nearly in tears.

One grey-haired Pasadena matron turns to her companion, and says, just above a stage whisper:

“He’s going to drive that poor girl crazy!”

{blink}

Never seen this story before, have you, ma’am?

Bitch, you almost made me break character

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Lexicon. Wild rephrasing of the original from the movie Chasing Amy:

โ€œโ€˜Whatโ€™s a Nubian?โ€™โ€ฆ Bitch, you almost made me laugh.โ€

Now, in my defense, this may have been a mashup with a story from my college days. Professor Leonard Pronko put on one of his periodic kabuki productions, this one titled Lancelot Bewitched. The lead, Kevin Costello, was teased by a number of my friends (Mark Vargas, Cathy Kerry, Topher Jaworski, others). Imagine the following delivered to Kevin in the exaggerated style of kabuki:

โ€œThreeeee times! You broke character threeeeee times! And weeee saw you!โ€

So I may have taken the laughing and the breaking of character, and merged them.

Itโ€™s a theory, anyway.