Rhino snot pie

Lexicon. Mildly derivative of Bill Cosby’s routine of having a rhino for a pet. This takes it one step further, and refers to how servers sometimes get stuck with specials they know are dubious, but they have to flack to the diners anyway.

“Tonight we have artisanal, free-range rhino snot pie as our special dessert…”

By extension, anything hoisted on service people as something they have to enthuse over:

“Well, they seem all-in for the 7-cylinder hybrid sports wagon.”
”Rhino snot pie. I just loooove this car!”

Your rudder is too small

Lexicon. From the movie Titanic:

“(Captain Smith) figures anything big enough to sink the ship they’re going to see in time to turn. But the ship’s too big, with too small a rudder… it can’t corner worth shit. Everything he knows is wrong.”

Not so much a misquote, as a paraphrase. “Your rudder is too small,” means you don’t have enough resources for the task at hand. Thus:

“I really think I can learn general relativity from this Mandarin textbook in six weeks.”
”Your rudder is too small.”

“I’m glad…”

Bernard: I believe you know each other.
Sir Humphrey: Yes, we did cross swords when the Minister gave me a grilling over the estimates in the Public Accounts Committee.
Hacker: I wouldn’t say that.
Sir Humphrey: You came up with all the questions I hoped nobody would ask.
Hacker: Well, Opposition’s about coming up with awkward questions.
Sir Humphrey: And Government is about not answering them.
Hacker: Well, you answered all mine anyway.
Sir Humphrey: I’m glad you thought so, Minister.

Yes, Minister, S1E1, “Open Government,” written by Antony Jay & Jonathan Lynn

Lexicon for the final line, which those who know me have oft suffered from. Here’s the bit as performed:

Full retard

Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man. Look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho’. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and he won a ping-pong competition. That ain’t retarded. He was a goddamn war hero. You know any retarded war heroes? You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

You don’t buy that? Ask Sean Penn. 2001, I Am Sam. Remember? Went full retard, went home empty-handed.

Tropic Thunder, screenplay by Etan Cohen, Ben Stiller, and Justin Theroux

Not the most sensitive of lines, no. Still, funny for the sense of the machinations actors calculate when it comes to determining which of their roles might get them awards (should they be interested in such things).

Also, lexicon, for the formulation, “Full {x}.” Usage: For the past year and a half I’ve gone almost full Mormon — no alcohol or caffeine. The exceptions are few enough to be easily counted; one beer, two cups of coffee.

Tighty whiteys still fit

It was 2004, and many hearts were set aflutter by the declassification of this document (click through to see the whole thing, if that’s not clear):

As you can see, it’s a bit of a mish-mash, graphically.

So designer Greg Storey, under his rubric Airbag Industries, decided to take a swing at an improvement. Here we are, decades later, and I still think it’s a wonderful piece of clarity:

To paraphrase Augustine, I know it when I see it.